party chatter

—What do you do?
—I elicit apologies.
—How so?
—I come to men who owe an apology and inspire them to make it.
—What are you then, a lawyer?
—Not as an officer of the court.
—An officer of what then?
—I answer to a higher authority.
—What is that?
—Whatever witnesses men coming short of the mark.
—So you are an apologist.
—An apologist makes apologies. Vocationally, I am an apologer.
—So how do you go about it?
—By reminding people of the right thing to do.
—And there is money in that?
—There can be. The stakes are high one way or another.
—But why do it when there is no payback?
—Causing the right thing to get done is a charity for my clients.
—What happens if your clients decline to do the right thing?
—I make them sorry.
—How?
—Like this.