I for one don't think you're a freak. I do think you've directed your energies outward, away from yourself. You've concluded you can't change yourself to find happiness, so you've put yourself on a quest to change the world, or some corner of it. You feel quite sure doing so will alleviate your own suffering, but it's pretty clear it won't.
Once you've ended this current quest and you find you're still the same person you were at the beginning, you'll direct these same energies again, but to some other unfortunate innocent, and you'll be off again chasing the unreachable.
Just remember, Michael, you can at any time decide to simply stop and look inward. All the skills needed to end all your suffering are already inside you. There's nothing outside. I wish you peace and good fortune.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-06-04 07:58 am (UTC)Once you've ended this current quest and you find you're still the same person you were at the beginning, you'll direct these same energies again, but to some other unfortunate innocent, and you'll be off again chasing the unreachable.
Just remember, Michael, you can at any time decide to simply stop and look inward. All the skills needed to end all your suffering are already inside you. There's nothing outside. I wish you peace and good fortune.